absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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