I need help removing her.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
