i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
