Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
