I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
