CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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