she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
