Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
