I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize