So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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