I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
