the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
