Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
