Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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