only if we run a train.
done.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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