he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Mom said you looked used
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
