Can Purell be used as lube?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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