I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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