I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
