Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
