The maid of honor just puked.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
