Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is classic penis vs brain.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
