He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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