i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
