I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
