Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
