woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
