Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
