is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
