96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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