last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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