we have officially lost it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
