If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
