The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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