why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
