just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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