people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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