I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
