I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
