Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
