As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
