did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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