Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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