Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The power of my boobs compel you
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
