it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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