woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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