i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
