...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
