just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I will pee on everything he values.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
