i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I would ride that face into the sunset
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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