i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
did you just send me my own nude
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
