i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
